Vanessa Bryant took to Instagram on Monday to share her struggles with the death of Kobe and Gianna, saying her “brain refuses to accept” both her husband of 18 years and 13-year-old daughter are gone. In the heartbreaking post, Vanessa said mourning the loss of the Lakers legend and young basketball star is a “nightmare.” “I’ve been reluctant to put my feelings into words.
My brain refuses to accept that both Kobe and Gigi are gone. I can’t process both at the same time. It’s like I’m trying to process Kobe being gone but my body refuses to accept my Gigi will never come back to me. It feels wrong. Why should I be able to wake up another day when my baby girl isn’t being able to have that opportunity?! I’m so mad. She had so much life to live,” Vanessa shared with her 11.6 million Instagram followers.
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The video shows Gianna playing with two other victims of the helicopter crash, Alyssa Altobelli and Payton Chester, at Kobe’s Mamba Sports Academy. On Jan. 29, Vanessa spoke out for the first time since the crash in Calabasas, thanking millions for “support and love during this horrific time.” In an Instagram post, she published a photo of her and Kobe with their four daughters and wrote:
There aren’t enough words to describe our pain right now. I take comfort in knowing that Kobe and Gigi both knew that they were so deeply loved. We were so incredibly blessed to have them in our lives. I wish they were here with us forever. They were our beautiful blessings taken from us too soon.” Days later, Vanessa shared an Instagram post showing Kobe and Gianna’s jerseys draped over the seats where the two last sat at Staples Center.
“I’m not sure what our lives hold beyond today, and it’s impossible to imagine life without them. But we wake up each day, trying to keep pushing because Kobe, and our baby girl, Gigi, are shining on us to light the way. Our love for them is endless – and that’s to say, immeasurable. I just wish I could hug them, kiss them and bless them. Have them here with us, forever,” she captioned the post.